Pinay New Yorker

My father is turning 73 this weekend. As luck would have it, a high school classmate who is now a practicing doctor in Boston confirmed a lecture engagement before the previous weekend and was generous enough to have remembered me and offered to bring anything I needed sent to Manila, and vice versa. (There are times when the boss up there hears a request even before one is made.)

I was hoping to get Dad’s requested bag, but I haven’t really found something suitable to send to him. Instead I picked up a La Coste shirt (genuine but bought on sale!), two pairs of cotton shorts, some packed chestnuts, and some cheese. I tried to be selective with what I was sending. I have already been overindulgent with the size of my package but I couldn’t help it. My niece has a pair of Heelys from Ninong Alan, but it would’ve made the package unbearably heavy.  This was was all for Dad. (I’m keeping my fingers crossed the box gets to Boston tomorrow. )

Every time I send something home on occasions like this, I feel a tinge of sadness as I find myself celebrating birthdays with my family 10,000 miles away.  I feel it most strongly with my father who is getting on in years.  I keep praying for another birthday which I might celebrate with him even if via long distance.  I have been fortunate that except for this year’s birthday, I have celebrated my Mom’s with her here for three consecutive years as she was with me here helping me take care of Angelo.

I want to send so much more in every package I send.  This one was a little "off" considering I packed some Polly-o string cheese and two slabs of edam.  My father loves the cheese but I really can’t send any via courrier.  It’s best sent with someone actually travelling to Manila to cut down on travel time and get it there all fresh and unmelted. (!)

The last time I celebrated a birthday with my Dad was in 1999 — 9 years ago.  Happy Birthday, Daddy…

Parenting can be such a complicated matter.  Others take it too seriously if you ask me.  My personal mantra has always been to "Go with the flow" so to speak.  It’s a hit or miss thing, and the best one can really do is to give it your best shot.  And that’s what Alan and I are doing.  Of course Alan has the advantage of having been a parent before with the stepson — yet he has often told me the things he is experiencing with Angelo are first time experiences he never had with his older boy.  While experience has taught him a lot, there is much more that we are learning together.

I don’t have a perfect son.  His imperfections, though, serve to remind me he is human.  That he has a personality all his own, and that there is a part of him that is so much like his father and myself, but there is so much more that is uniquely him.  And like his Dad and I, he has his moods and quirks.  While his character at this point is malleable and subject to correction, I constantly remind myself he is a work in progress.  A four year old who thinks like a four year old.

I try to be firm and I try to be understanding.  Striking a balance between being patient and consistently teaching.  Is he spoiled?  I won’t mince words and admit he is.  But he has a good heart which knows there are lines that cannot be crossed, not because he fears punishment, but because there are feelings that will be hurt and a Mom and Dad that will be frustrated.  So no, I do not threaten to put him in the dumpster like an aunt had done. I believe that a certain sense of fear is necessary, but not the kind of fear that will not make him see the reason behind the prohibition. 

I’m giving it my best shot although I sometimes wonder if I’m on the right track.  I look at him and I see him growing into his own person.  He makes me smile when he suddenly says "I love you, Mama..".  He may be able to read the letters of his name and he knows it when he sees it, and although he cannot write his name yet, I see no cause to worry.  We’re taking it a day at a time..

Gap had come out with a complete ad campaign for a limited edition line of shirts to commemmorate the Whitney Biennial by producing shirts in collaboration with a select group of artist.  They are no longer online and are being sold on sale at certain branches.  I grabbed one of the shirts below by Marilyn Minter over the weekend and will be going back for more.  Grab yours before they’re gone!

Bryant Park is one of my favorite parks in the city because you can take in it’s length and breadth from any vantage point in the park.  It’s not that huge but it has a breathtaking vista of a patch of green beyond Central Park in the city.  Angel and I stopped today.  I’ve taken pictures of the park in the winter, spring, summer and fall.  I keep going back to it because it’s right in the heart of Manhattan.  This was one of the first parks I saw as a new transplant to New York eight years ago.  Soon I will see it everyday when we move offices to a building in its periphery.  I cannot wait to have lunch there and just take in the sunshine on a regular basis.  (I guess that means you’ll see more of Bryant Park here in the future.)

Bryant Park is a hub of activity with early morning concerts by name artists, movie classics in the sunset, and Fashion Week.  During Winter, you’ll find a holiday bazaar here.

I finally left the office just before 3pm, 2 hours after the second assistant had left. I had earlier made up my mind about what and where lunch would be.. So here I am with my cup of crab bisque from Soup Man, sitting by the shade in one of the many tables in front of the New York Public Library. (There are actually even more chairs at the back by Bryant Park which flows into Sixth Avenue, a.k.a. Avenue of the Americas.)