Pinay New Yorker

One thing I like about weekends is it enables us to do different things in terms of where and what we eat. Our friends from Boston who had once upon a time lived in New York invited us to one of their favorite haunts in Chinatown, the Golden Unicorn Restaurant on East Broadway, where we had a hearty helping of siomai and other dimsum. It wasn’t just the food, but the wife was a childhood friend of Alan’s whose family was very close to theirs from way, way back. So we did some catching up while talking about the challenges of parenthood and raising a young family.  Food and good company always come together rather well, making for a great meal, no matter what is served.

There was dimsum galore which reminded me of the dimsum trays of a restaurant we used to patronize somewhere in the Binondo area with some old friends.  It was so good that we were full after but a few helpings, and with no rice at that.  Angel had his usual plain rice but also sampled the sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaves which was something new for me, too.  Yum!  The restaurant occupies several floors and although we were one of the first to arrive just before 11AM, the restaurant lobby was crowded with people waiting to be seated by the time we left just before 1PM.

Alan thought we could go to a nearby outlet in New Jersey but we didn’t find anything particularly interesting, and the sales weren’t really impressive given the array of choices and the prices.  We just whiled the afternoon away and by 4PM headed out to find the Red Ribbon branch here in New Jersey which is located at 591 Summit Ave (across from the Jersey City Public Library) in Jersey City. I grew up with Red Ribbon way back when it wasn’t as big a chain as it is today.  I loved their crema de fruta, chocolate mousse and ube cake, and their palabok was something truly their own!  Dinner tonight is some kaldereta, palabok and diniguan with puto, and we have a healthy stock of ensaymadas for breakfast through most of the week.  I also got some mamon and pan de sal, since I don’t know when we will be back.

I have always maintained that when things aren’t going the way you want or hope them to be, there is no sense in dwelling in that which aggravates you.  While I do not advocate escaping or running way, I would like to think that blogging is a positive distraction that will bring me back up on my feet again.  So here’s something uplifting not just hopefully to those who stray into my corner of the blogsphere, but more importantly, for myself.

I came across this article Five Friends Every Woman Should Have by Michelle Burford which you will find in Oprah Winfrey’s website.  This made me reflect on the friends who have graced my existence and blessed my life with their friendship.  So in reference to this article, I want to pay tribute to the five friends who continue to make me believe that someone is watching over me.

Burford goes on to enumerate and describe these Five Friends all of us should have, and I feel so lucky to know I have a friend who fits the bill for each category.  Here’s who they are and why:

"1. The Uplifter : This woman’s favorite word: yes. You could tell her you’re trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she’d barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don’t you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?"

My UPLIFTER is Fe, my bestfriend from college who will encourage me to enter the nunnery if I told her I felt a calling to do so, even if at the back of her head she knows I’m too wordly to do that.  She has always egged me on without condition, believing in me even when I stopped believing in myself.  If I were in Manila, we would be inseparable.  We still are even if we are 10,000 miles apart — it’s just that now, we’re connected in a different way.

"2. The Travel Buddy : When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it’s enough that she’s comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight). "

Although I am taking this more in the context of flexibility more than the literal travel aspect of the classification, I have my sister, OFIE, who has gone through some adventures with me.  While we have our own quirks as individuals and we do have our differences even as siblings, I treasure the friendship I share with her.

"3. The Truth Teller : Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you’ve established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you’d be smart to seek out this woman’s perspective."

My TRUTH TELLER is not a she but a he.  JONATHAN has always been very straightforward with me, even when he knows the truth will hurt, like when I told him about a guy I was terribly fond of but who just didn’t seem to be too serious about developing a relationship with me.  Without batting an eyelash, he said it was because it was all "just for fun" for this guy — and try as I might, he doesn’t care about me the way I hoped he did.  I don’t think my girlfriends would have told me that as frankly and directly like he did.

"4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun : One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we’re both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times. "

Back in my senior year of high school, I came across a most remarkable friend, DONNA.  She is now in Australia but we shared many adventures together.  Even if I wasn’t allowed to ride public transportation back when I was in high school, she and I would sneak out to Greenhills together just for an innocent stroll.  Her vivacious personality helped me to become more sociable, more so in this awkward stage with the boys.  We have had our differences but we have seen ourselves coming back to each other as if no time had elapsed.  We still continue to share that bond although our adventurism is now tempered by age.

" 5. The Unlikely Friend : "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring."

My UNLIKELY FRIEND is someone I’ve known since elementary, but who became a very dear friend of mine in high school, GINA.  Knowing GINA has helped open my eyes to be accepting of gay people.  I remember how we used to pop into each other’s lives during the holidays and birthdays — even if in the interim, there was absolute silence.  Not because we chose to stay away — just that we didn’t get the chance to reconnect in the intervening time.  Everytime I go home to Manila, we do make time now.  And the last time, she was the only friend from high school I saw even if we could have called others to a "reunion"…

These are the people who continue to show me the true goodness in man — and it is their example that keeps me believing that we owe everyone the benefit of the doubt.

FE, OFIE, JONATHAN, DONNA and GINA — thank you.  I love you all…

This post originally appeared in Pinaynewyorker.com 

When I organized my postcard collection by state around four years ago, I was rather surprised that the most number of postcards I had came from this little known (to me, that is) state of Maine.  During this visit, I found out that Maine has some 65 lighthouses up and down its rugged coast.  Most of them are still operational and very active, and we visited two which were around the area of Kennebunkport where we are vacationing.

You would have to be a lighthouse postcard collector like myself to comprehend the extraordinary feeling of actually beholding something I only saw in pictures until the moment I stand before it.  But to the ordinary person, seeing a lighthouse weaves a different kind of magic.  What is it about lighthouses?  I really don’t know.  No matter how beautiful or plain its shape and form may be, it stands proud.

The first lighthouse I actually saw for real and entered was the Seven Foot Knoll lighthouse in the Inner Harbor of Baltimore around six years ago.   The just before I had Angel while I was still recovering from my second miscarraige, Alan treated me to a vacation at the Hamptons where I saw and went up the Montauk Point Lighthouse. I have since gone back to Montauk and beheld it from outside, and the view is always as spectacular as the first.

We decided to visit two nearby lighthouses to Kennebunkport where we are staying and we drove to Cape Neddick to see the Nubble Light.  The lighthouse warns of the rocky cliffs by this side of the coast, and also toots its horn to warn ships in the thick of the fog.  It was my first time to see the fog creeping into shore at ground level, instead of a little higher above it.  The salty air was just refreshing, and the view of the spanking brand new homes that lined the road up to the viewing deck just a short distance away from the island where the lighthouse was perched was an added plus.

We had lunch at Fox’s Lobster House after which we headed for Cape Porpoise to view the Goat Island lighthouse.  It wasn’t as breathtaking a view as the Nubble light because of its distance from the pier, but it was an awesome sight to behold all the same.  Seeing these lighthouses makes the trip special as it is, and Alan and I hope to go further into Maine next time when we come back and see more lighthouses.

The Cape Neddick lighthouse otherwise known as the Nubble Light

Watching people fishing down by the lower rocks from across the lighthouse where we stood

Angel playing among the rocks

Father and son enjoying the view and playing among the rocks

Viewing Goat Island Lighthouse from a distance at the Cape Porpoise Pier