Humor from above
March 9, 2007
I have always tried to keep an optmistic outlook on life. I am a strong believer in the saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. The pragmatic side of me, though, knows that it’s not always the window I want Him to open.
I look upon God as a higher being with a sense of humor. It’s just that we often cannot fathom the humor behind the challenges He brings our way. Our primal instincts put us on the defensive and we think that we are always being punished. I think not. It’s just that we didn’t get the punch line.
Humor isn’t always funny. Sometimes, it can be dark. And although there are trials that literally bring us down to our knees, in my personal experience, the one who always helped me up was Him.
I wish I had the discipline to be a better Catholic — but I consider myself a good Christian, because I live my life through Christ. I think of Him as the synthesis of what is holy and human in my God. I am nowhere near His divinity, but I know I am trying to live by His word. "Trying" is the operative word here, because human as I am, I often fail. But I know and feel Him in my life.
Someone from way, way back wrote me today and gave me the cliff notes version of what has been happening to her of late. I like the way she ended her note to me — she said "I have God in my life." In my heart I answered, "I know the feeling and I am happy for you."
All I have to do is look at my little boy and I know I’ve been blessed. Not everyone is as lucky. I don’t have to look far to find couples who have been trying and wanting so badly to have a little one of their own. God opened that window to me and I found my joy… and for that and everything else I have been blessed with, I am thankful. I know of people who are still searching for the one they would spend the rest of their lives with — although our marriage is what I would call a work in progress, we have become better friends, partners and parents and I know our love continues to be strong.
When my friends were around and I was feeling exceptionally daunted by challenges in my life, I would not think twice about asking a friend whose personal religious leaning was never a point in my asking to pray for me. I have always believed in the power of prayer. Now that I’m 10,000 miles away from the people I can ask to do that, I usually do it by e-mail. =) But I have not stopped asking.
My life is far from perfect but I feel I have been lucky in many respects. And my luck has nothing to do with destiny — I think of it as God giving me a pat on the back. It’s not so much to show how me how great a person I am, but rather to help me move forward with my load.
I used to be a complainer and I would wallow in my misery. Why, I would ask, do the problems never end? Until I realized that I am still luckier and more blessed compared to some who have had to grapple with more than I have had to deal with. It brings us back to the glass that’s half empty, or half full. I can dwell on how difficult the challenge is, or look at how I know I’ll find a way around it.
Take the case of our four-year-old friend, Dave. I cannot even imagine how it would be to be in the shoes of my batchmate, his Mom. I do not have the money they need — I cannot work the miracle that would take Dave’s pain away with the touch of my hand. And yet I did something I do well, I wrote his story and made an appeal. It has touched me no end to see the outpouring of support. People who don’t know us have been touched to reach out and help Dave — and it makes me feel good to have been instrumental in that.
I imagine Him looking down at me and chiding me and making kantiyaw for finally putting my blogging skills to good use and telling me I should be writing more about these things than dwelling on the stepson. (Big sigh .. ) And I say, "I heard You.. oo na (Po)."
